To Remember and to Let Go
by ilovemew
Summary: Juliet said that her should was dislocated four time. How? What horror did she face while on the island? eventual suliet
1. Chapter 1

**AN: This is my first lost story! I watched all six seasons in four days over break. I am very proud of this accomplishment. I know my life is sad, but it's not as sad as lost. Anyway enjoy! Please review! Oh this was written based on the comment Juliet made about having dislocated her shoulder four times. I don't have exact quotes but I tried to make it close. One more thing, ELIZABETH MITCHELL IS PERFECT!**

"How could I have been so stupid as to agree to this?" Juliet thought to herself. Every day she regretted every coming to this damn island. When Juliet woke up there was this small moment when she thought she was home. She thought when she opened her eyes she would be back at home in her own bed. Sometimes she could almost still hear Rachel's voice. That was the only part of her day she liked.

Today Juliet was going to a dinner party maybe that would get her mind off of everything. She was so upset since she had lost all of her patients. Juliet was not used to having patients die. She felt like a failure since not one of them had survived.

Juliet walked over to Ben's house with a big basket full of rolls. When she walked in and saw only Ben was there she became very confused very fast.  
>"Um… Where is everyone? I thought this was a dinner party?"<p>

"Yeah, but it's just us," Ben answered with a grin.

Juliet had a bad feeling about this but didn't want to be rude so she didn't say anything. Ben made Juliet feel uncomfortable. Sure he was always nice but he looked at her too long and 'accidently' brushed up against her a few too many times. Juliet just thought it was her imagination but tonight she knew for sure it wasn't.

Juliet and Ben sat down to candle lit dinner. They both had a wonderful time. The food was great; Juliet even thought Ben was great. He was nice and funny without being creepy like in the past. It was all around going great. Juliet had not had a good time since she got to the island. It felt like she finally had some hope; hope for happiness even if it was just temporary.

"That was delicious," Juliet said after finishing her plate.

"I'm so glad you liked it," Ben answered with a smile as he took her plate.

"I will help," Juliet offered taking some dirty dished over to the sink.

"You don't have to do that."

"But I want to. I can't have you cleaning up all by yourself."

A sparkle came into Bens eyes; a sparkle that hadn't been there since he was a child. Ben felt so lucky that he was able to spend all of this time with Juliet. She was staying even after they ate, she must like him. They must have a chance.

"Ah, all done," Juliet announced with a proud smile.

"Thank you for helping," Ben replied.

"Well I guess I will go home. I have to get to work early tomorrow. I can't let another woman die on my watch."

"No, stay," Ben whispered as he grabbed Juliet's arm. She felt uncomfortable again.

"I'm sorry Ben, I have to go," Juliet repeated and turned to leave.

"No I said you are staying, so you are staying."

That did it, now Juliet was seriously mad. She didn't even have time to reply before Ben stepped closer a planted a large kiss on her lips.

"Ben!" she yelled in shock. He did not reply he just did it again.

"Get off of me!" she screamed louder while pushing him away. He came right back. This time with much more force. Ben slammed Juliet's body on the wall. She didn't have time to think before he pinned her arms above her head. Soon she heard his belt unbuckle and a tear feel down her check.

"How could he do this to me," Juliet though to herself.

AN: I'm sorry that was pretty bad. Review if you want me to continue.


	2. Chapter 2

**AN: Thanks for those wonderful reviews! I didn't think the first chapter was my best work but you guys all loved it so I'm back with chapter two. Tell me what you think (about the fanfic or just how flawless Elizabeth Mitchell is)**

Ben took a step away from Juliet. She looked like an abused puppy. Her big blue eyes full of shock and confusion, her cloths torn, she held her arm in pain, and she could not stop shaking.

Ben looked at Juliet, who was pressed up against the wall of his kitchen, "Ungrateful slut," he muttered. She just looked back at him with her puppy dog eyes. She honestly didn't know what to do; she just knew she had to get out of there.

Ben shook his head and turned away from the woman on his floor. When he turned Juliet got up and ran for the door as fast as she could go. She just needed to get home. She needed to get these cloths off. She needed to feel clean; if that was even possible.

Juliet fumbled with the door for a moment, terrified that he would come for her, but he didn't. He allowed her to go. She could leave but she couldn't escape; there was no escape.

Once outside Juliet ran and did not stop until she reached her house. She turned the knob but it wouldn't open. She kept pulling at it and tears began to fall. Her breathing became very loud and desperate.

"Open, god damn it, please just open," Juliet begged in between gasps. The door obeyed flying open against her hard push. Juliet quickly closed the door and collapsed on the other side. She dropped down on the other side of the door; her back against it and her face to her knees, like a child. Juliet felt so small, so powerless.

Juliet had never missed her sister more. She would do anything just to have Rachel hold her and tell her everything would be alright. She knew better, she knew everything was defiantly not alright.

There is nothing Juliet can do. Ben is the ruler. Ben is the police. Ben has all of the power, and there is nothing Juliet can do about that. She is all alone in her house with no one to turn to. She wanted to go to Goodwin but she knew she couldn't. Even if she could she wouldn't want him to see her like this; so dirty, so broken.

Juliet hobbled over to her bathroom and feel once more. She stripped off of her soiled cloths and threw them away. She never wanted to look at them again. Carefully she stepped into the shower, while covering herself. She closed her eyes unable to look at the bruises painted over her body. Juliet scrubbed her body for hours it seemed like she removed a layer of skin. However, she could still feel his hands all over her body touching her. It made her sick. At one point Juliet had to get out of the shower so she could throw up. An overwhelming feeling of disgust had taken over her body.


	3. Chapter 3

"It's okay Juliet. Just go to bed. Just make it through the night you can figure out what to do tomorrow," Juliet told herself. She just needed to make it through the night. Juliet didn't know what to do now but she could figure it out in the morning. That was all she could do; make it until morning.

Juliet lay down on her large bed. She could not get comfortable. No matter how hard she tried or how many times she moved around she was just disgusted. The covers felt gross over her body. Her body felt gross. She felt like her skin was soiled. Juliet wanted to shed her skin like a snake.

Juliet stared up at her ceiling hoping to think of anything but the night's events. Her task was impossible. The more she tried to forget the more she remembered. She remembered his hands roaming her body. She remembered his cold harsh words. She remembered him seeing she was in pain but not caring. He almost seemed to enjoy her pain.

"How could he do this to me? I thought we were friends. I liked him, and I thought he liked me too," were some of the thoughts racing through Juliet's mind.

After laying in bed for about an hour Juliet got up and dressed. She could not handle her thoughts closing in on her anymore. She needed to get out of her house. Juliet went the only place that she could think of; work. She just wanted to drown herself in her studies. Juliet walked into the dark office and turned on all of the lights. She was usually the only person there and since it was midnight she didn't expect to find anyone. Juliet still had to check every room half expecting to see Ben sitting in one of them. After being confident that she was alone Juliet started to work.

Juliet had put everything she had left into her work. The harder she worked the less she thought about the attack. Juliet just had to tell herself that it didn't matter and that she should worry about it. Pretending as if it didn't happen almost made it seem like it didn't. Although the images keep flying through Juliet's head she was starting to ignore them. Maybe if she ignored them they would go away. Man, did she just need them to go away.

Juliet had been so focused she didn't even realize what time it was. She had worked until morning. Juliet found a lead as to why all of the pregnant women die. It gave her a glimmer of hope even if it was small she just wanted to do something good. Juliet felt responsible for the vile act that took place only hours ago. She was desperate to do something good; something to give her redemption.

"Oh my gosh," Juliet whispered with pure excitement. She was one step closer to finding answers. A warm hand reached out of nowhere and touched Juliet's shoulder. She jumped and quickly twirled around to see who had just touched her.

"Get out of my lab right now," Juliet growled with a seriously pissed off face on.

"Come on, we had a nice time last night. And plus I can do what I want to. This isn't your lab, its mine," Ben happily replied with a smile.

"Just get out of here now," Juliet snarled.

"Oh I'm not going anywhere," he said matter-of-a-factly while taking a step closer to Juliet.

Juliet pushed him away from her as fast as she could.

"Don't you dare come any closer to me," Juliet strongly stated claiming her ground.

"You don't make the rules around here," Ben talked in the same cold evil voice as he did the night before. Ben reached out and pushed Juliet so hard that she fell backwards. Ben had pushed Juliet back to prove his dominance. He didn't want anyone to ever question him or his manhood.

Ben walked out of the lab slamming the door on his way out. Juliet picked herself up. She knew she had dislocated her shoulder. Since no one was around to help her she would have to pop it back in place herself. Juliet went to the wall and pushed until she heard it pop. She screamed so loud she wouldn't be surprised if everyone heard her.

Juliet turned to her microscope which had fallen over in the struggle. Juliet went to pick it up but she noticed the glass had broken. Juliet's heart sank. She looked into the eye piece but all she say was darkness. She couldn't continue her research without a microscope but she couldn't bear ask Ben for anything. Juliet had lost the one thing last thing in her life to give her happiness.


End file.
